Happy 2012!

This year I've decided is going to be full of change. I need to better myself and my family. I need to get rid of the "what's in it for me" attitude. It's not all about me. I know that, and I like to think of myself as a selfless person. Can I be selfish? Absolutely. Everyone can. I just want to give all that up. I want to better my family. I want to feel like I've accomplished something. Getting married at 22 was a huge accomplishment. I had it in my head that I wasn't going to be married until I was 26 or so. Ha! 

Funny how God's plans aren't our plans! 

I didn't really plan on making "new years resolutions."

(Who sticks to those anyways??!!)

I didn't even really plan on changing anything about myself. 

(Just kidding, I just didn't think about what I wanted to change)

I am NOT perfect.

There are things that I would definitely like to improve about myself.

I need to get back on my work out routine. Before I got married I was going to the gym every day and running miles.

I love to run and I'd really like to get back into my routine. It's hard when you don't have your workout buddy though.

I've got some really great apps on my phone though and I intend on making use of them more than I did last year.

I need to really start to think before I speak. That's one of my biggest downfalls and I get myself in trouble sometimes.

I need to get the "how would God feel about this" mentality and stick with it. 

No more down-talking people. No more snide remarks. No more negativity. 

(Unfortunately I think I picked that up from work.)

No more gossip.

No more road rage (God, please give me strength)

No more nasty not-good-for-me food.

More cooking.

More laundry.

More cleaning.

More responsibility.

Being a better wife.

Being a better praise leader. Encouraging my team. Lifting them up. Loving them even when it's tough.

I am not acting as praise leader because I think I am better than anyone else.

I am acting as praise leader because that is also where God wants me to be.

I know I've mentioned this before, but the week before our praise leader stopped coming to church, I told Brian that I felt I was supposed to be a praise leader.

I don't believe in coincidence. 

God knew what He was doing all along. 

He was preparing my heart for taking on a difficult ministry.

I couldn't do it without Him.

Last week I wasn't playing that guitar, He was.

He does it every week, there's just weeks where I trust more and He always carries us through.

Being a better person in general.

I can do all this because I know God will carry me through. He will never leave me or forsake me.

I want to live more like Christ and less like Melanie. 

I want to go where He wants me to go.

I want to do what He wants me to do.

"Here I am Lord, send me!"

With that said. I've just applied to school. 

Again? You ask.

Yes, again.

I truly feel that this is what I am supposed to do now. I feel like this is where God wants me. This is His plan for me right now.

I feel like this his how I can better myself and better my family.

This is how I can support my child when we become pregnant. 

At this moment I can tell you I am nervous. I don't ever get nervous, but I am nervous.

 I am taking a step out in faith, something I haven't really ever done before.

This year, I am truly turning my life over 100% to God.

I AM ALL IN.