A Week I Could Have Done Without

 I am so thankful this past week is over.

Monday my dad had a heart attack and he never went to the hospital until Friday.

He was released Sunday morning and we were able to spend the day with him.

Sunday night my mom called me crying and I automatically assumed something happened to my dad.

She was calling me to tell me my uncle passed away from what they thought was a heart attack.

I drove almost 50mph to get to her house. Thankfully we don't live far apart. 

I was a mess. I just couldn't understand what was going on. First my dad and then my uncle. The only difference was that my dad was still alive.

I hadn't even had time to process what happened to my dad before I got the call about my uncle. 

Every thing just hit me all at once.

I was a mess. I couldn't stop crying for days.

Work sent me home because I couldn't even function. 

I got less than an hour of sleep Sunday night into Monday morning.

To be perfectly honest I'm still in shock. I just can't believe he's gone. I'm so happy my dad is still here, but I almost feel guilty for being happy about my dad when my cousin's just lost theirs.

I wasn't angry at God, not even for a minute. Maybe that's because I can understand death? I understand that when things like this happen it's all in God's time?

What I don't understand, and I'm sure I'll never understand, is why it had to be the same day my dad was released from the hospital. No one will ever understand why God does what He does, sometimes it's frustrating. 

I know this almost sounds like I'm not grateful to have my dad, and that's not the case at all. I'm so happy my dad is still here with me, but why can't my uncle be here too?

I know this is a depressing post, and I'm sorry. I just needed an outlet. I've been crying for days, everyone knows that.

Brian's been absolutely great for the most part. (We've had our moments).

Work has even cooperated better than I thought they would.

My teachers at school have been awesome. I e-mailed them Monday morning to tell them what happened and they all said don't worry about school, just be with your family and you can catch up when you get back.

Monday is the start of a new and hopefully better week.

"I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow no more pain

I will rise on eagles wings

Before my God fall on my knees

and rise, I will rise"

Rest in Jesus, Uncle Richard. I love you so much.